Sarcastic Remarks

Oct 13, 2006 at 10:26 AM
5 comments

Sarcastic Remarks (these cracked me up!)

And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be.....?

Do I look like a f***ing people person?

This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer.

If I throw a stick will you leave??

YOU!.... Off my planet!

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable.

I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

Not all men are annoying, some are dead.

It's not the size that coun...... no wait, it's the size!

A woman's favorite position is CEO

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Too many freaks not enough circuses.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

5 comments

Comments

If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it, it's much easier to apologize then it is to get permission

As you know, sarcasm rules our household. I pity the poor people that come over for our weekend open houses? I don't know what you'd call them, not parties really, as it happens to often and parties are supposed to be special.. whatever. The people that lack the sarcastic streak, even most of the kids have it (due to good parenting). They get ripped to shreds and don't even know it. They're inept sense of humor proves to be great fun for the rest of us. I don't think we're mean, we just like to have fun (even if it IS at their expense)

here's a sarcasm quiz

You're Totally Sarcastic You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.